Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin faced off for the second time over the weekend at UFC 106. Fans know Forrest Griffin as the first winner of The Ultimate Fighter, the former light heavyweight champ, and yet another notch on Anderson Silva’s belt, and even regular punters are probably aware of Tito Ortiz as another former light heavyweight champ, his stint on Celebrity Apprentice, and being the father of former porn star Jenna Jameson’s twins. So after an introduction like that, the Tito Ortiz vs Forrest Griffin fight seems a bit of a letdown.

And as I said (to those of you paying attention) Tito Ortiz and Forrest Griffin fought before at UFC 59, where Tito Ortiz bested Forrest Griffin with a controversial split decision. And just to make irony all the sweeter, Forrest Griffin defeated Tito Ortiz in the rematch with a (wait for it…) split decision. In the post-fight press conference both men were already discussing the rubber-match (the deciding fight if two fighters have each beaten the other) as if it were a foregone conclusion.

Me, I couldn’t really care less about Tito Ortiz/ Forrest Griffin fighting again. The sport’s passed Tito Ortiz by, and if Forrest Griffin keeps after the man, it will pass him by as well. Fighters only get a few years of prime athleticism, and Tito Ortiz squandered his with his numerous contract disputes. It remains to be seen if Tito Ortiz is still a draw to the non-hardcore fight fan, though Forrest Griffin still appears to be. So after the numbers are crunched later this week, we can all wait for this fight’s impending announcement.

And if you’d like to watch the full Tito Ortiz vs Forrest Griffin fight, just click here. Who do you think won?

Want to hear more of my (probably) drunken ramblings? Check it out here at gossip.gather.com!

Minka Kelly (not Mika Kelly, people) and Derek Jeter have apparently been going out for some time to my chagrins and suddenly people are talking like they’re engaged. Friday Night Lights fan are well aware of Minka Kelly (as well most heterosexual males with access to the internet) and Derek Jeter plays some position on some type of sports team that won something recently. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

Anywho, engagement rumors are now swirling about Minka Kelly/ Derek Jeter, though Kelly’s publicist said there’s no impending nuptials for the two. But none the less, I’m devastated.

Didn’t you get all those love letters I sent you Minka? I thought when you split with that douchebag John Mayer you must have. But then when you didn’t show up to my house in the panties I so lovingly picked out, I started to have my doubts. And now this whole Derek Jeter thing?

If Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter do tie the knot, you can color me crushed. It’s like high school all over again – the incredibly hot girl ignoring the sweet nerd and going after the jock. Except this time the jock is a famous multimillionaire and the nerd secretly tortures kittens. But to me, the analogy still feels true.

Want to hear more of my (probably) drunken ramblings? Check it out here at gossip.gather.com!

New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert hit the news today due to her unsportsmanlike behavior against opposing team BYU. Elizabeth Lambert’s crimes: Hair pulling, punching and a few knees, a soccer kick to the face thrown in for good measure. Behavior like that and now all of a sudden women's soccer just got thrown into the spotlight.

Now I’m no fan of soccer in general, and women’s soccer in particular, but if you had more players like Elizabeth Lambert, I’d be tuning in much more often. But maybe that’s because I’m a fan of MMA. Just look at that takedown via hair pull by Elizabeth Lambert. New Mexico shouldn’t suspend Elizabeth Lambert; they should get her her own TV show.

But maybe it’s my violence bias and Elizabeth Lambert’s penchant for being cute showing here. Watch the Elizabeth Lambert soccer video and decide for yourself.

Want to hear more of my (probably) drunken ramblings? Check it out here at gossip.gather.com!

Motorcycle maker Jesse James and rom-com mainstay Sandra Bullock are apparently in the midst of a custody battle with Jesse James’ ex-wife cum porn star Janine Lindemulder over their 5 year old daughter. But the story gets better, Janine Lindermulder (porn name Janine) recently got out of jail for tax evasion (to the tune of $200k in back taxes).

Seriously, what kind of money doing the squishy act do you have to make to owe that much?

I know of Jesse James from his show on Discovery (back when I didn’t have REAL cable) and it’s hard not to know his wife Sandra Bullock. Their custody battle with Janine thrust them back into the spotlight as both Jesse James and Sandra Bullock have sent letters to the judge lambasting Janine and trying to get full custody.

Is it just me, or does this Janine/ Jesse James/ Sandra Bullock custody battle remind you of a plot point in the most terrible of movies Swordfish? If memory serves (and it does since I just watched it a few nights ago to catch Halle Berry in her infamous half million dollar scene) the protagonist was trying to make money to keep his daughter out of the hands of her porn mogul step-father. Reverse the roles and you’ve got yourself a case of life imitating art (if you can call Swordfish that).

Personally I’m siding with Jesse James and Sandra Bullock in their custody battle. As much as I’m for parents raising their own children, who wants a kid to be raised by a woman who blogged from jail about the lesbian sex she was having. Don’t believe me, check out Janine Lindemulder’s Wikipedia page. And the fact she was on the cover of a Blink182 album isn’t exactly helping her case in my book.

Want to hear more of my (probably) drunken ramblings? Check it out here at gossip.gather.com!